My guess is, this appeared on numerous sites but since I saw it on CBS, they get credit.  In an article about Bernie Madoff and his declarations that he’s dying, this tidbit was included:  ”The 71-year-old Madoff could be released for good behavior by November 2139.”
Um….oh no he couldn’t.  None of us are going to [...]

I was up early today and decided it had been too long since a good dose of headlines.  Some of these are my usual too pointless to be called news and/or hysterically funny and some I just wanted to comment on.  Our first batch comes from CNN, today’s bringer of the most pointless.
Retiring soldier eats [...]

I haven’t done one of these in a long time due to taking care of my mother, but today I needed a laugh and found it, as usual, on the mainstream media websites. Here’s the batch!
From MSNBC.com comes this absolute comedy goldmine:
‘Jealous wife’ charged in fatal genitals fire
It might not be funny to the [...]

MSNBC has won the headlines game hands down today. I think they actually tried to be odd this morning. But first, a headline from CBS that made me laugh:
Jerusalem Primps, Bracing For Bush Visit (CBS)
Bracing for a visit sounds like something bad is about to happen and they are trying to prepare for it. Typically [...]

Today’s headlines are a mixed bag. Just mixed enough maybe to make you say, “What?” I know I couldn’t live without knowledge of these events!
Snake mistakes golf balls for eggs, eats ‘em (CNN)
This was front page news on CNN.com. A snake. Who ate golf balls. Because he thought they were eggs. I am a’flutter with [...]

Sometimes the headlines make me laugh. The rest of the time I just want to slap myself. Let’s begin!
MSNBC: Sudan grills teacher over teddy bear name
Yikes. Did they grill her on a spit? Over an open flame? With barbecue sauce? Did they give the leftovers to the homeless?
CNN: Hulk Hogan’s wife wants property, alimony
Isn’t that [...]

Today, CNN and CBS provided me with some laughs and some pure confusion. And since confusion is my life, I share!
From CNN we start with:
Old prostitute left streets, needed walker
All I could see was a 90-year-old woman, in a hot pink short skirt and midriff-baring skin-tight blouse, walking down the street with her walker. It’s [...]

As busy as I am right now I have to take headline opportunities when they come. Today there were enough that I just had to post.
Starting off the derby, from CNN.com, the guffaw of the day:
Bush: We take climate change seriously
No commentary needed, it’s funny on its own.
Also from CNN comes this very interesting image:
Mom [...]

Welcome back to Headlines! Today’s crop is a little bit odd, but that’s the way I like it.
From MSNBC.com:
Odor leads agents to dung depot
I think I’d be finding a new job. Finding dung is one thing, finding an entire dung DEPOT is another entirely.
Also from MSNBC.com, in the “In what universe is this actually news” [...]

It might not have been a banner headline day but it was slightly amusing.
Two sentenced for trying to sell Coke’s secrets (CNN)
Which one, which ingredient makes it nasty or the one that leaves the weird film in the cup?
U.S. checking Chinese toothpaste imports (CNN)
Yes, toothpaste will get checked. Thousands of containers, not so much.
Shark virgin [...]