Today’s headlines are a mixed bag. Just mixed enough maybe to make you say, “What?” I know I couldn’t live without knowledge of these events!
Snake mistakes golf balls for eggs, eats ‘em (CNN)
This was front page news on CNN.com. A snake. Who ate golf balls. Because he thought they were eggs. I am a’flutter with [...]

Sometimes the headlines make me laugh. The rest of the time I just want to slap myself. Let’s begin!
MSNBC: Sudan grills teacher over teddy bear name
Yikes. Did they grill her on a spit? Over an open flame? With barbecue sauce? Did they give the leftovers to the homeless?
CNN: Hulk Hogan’s wife wants property, alimony
Isn’t that [...]

Today, CNN and CBS provided me with some laughs and some pure confusion. And since confusion is my life, I share!
From CNN we start with:
Old prostitute left streets, needed walker
All I could see was a 90-year-old woman, in a hot pink short skirt and midriff-baring skin-tight blouse, walking down the street with her walker. It’s [...]

As busy as I am right now I have to take headline opportunities when they come. Today there were enough that I just had to post.
Starting off the derby, from CNN.com, the guffaw of the day:
Bush: We take climate change seriously
No commentary needed, it’s funny on its own.
Also from CNN comes this very interesting image:
Mom [...]

Welcome back to Headlines! Today’s crop is a little bit odd, but that’s the way I like it.
From MSNBC.com:
Odor leads agents to dung depot
I think I’d be finding a new job. Finding dung is one thing, finding an entire dung DEPOT is another entirely.
Also from MSNBC.com, in the “In what universe is this actually news” [...]

It might not have been a banner headline day but it was slightly amusing.
Two sentenced for trying to sell Coke’s secrets (CNN)
Which one, which ingredient makes it nasty or the one that leaves the weird film in the cup?
U.S. checking Chinese toothpaste imports (CNN)
Yes, toothpaste will get checked. Thousands of containers, not so much.
Shark virgin [...]

Oh some days my email annoys me, but on others it gives me a great deal of amusement. Today is on of those latter days.
I was calmly typing up a small article for work when my e-mail client let me know that an important message had just come through. Important. High priority. Highlighted in orange. [...]

I hopped online today to check the daily news and was hit by a plethora of fabulously interesting headlines. Here are the best of the best.
Coyote Visits Downtown Deli (ABCNews)
I picture him walking in, ever so calm, sitting down and talking with the other patrons. “So how’s it going? Yeah the city threw out my [...]

There’s not as many instantly hilarious headlines today but there are definitely some that make me wonder if perhaps 24 hour networks should just be banned outright for the stuff they come up with to pass the time.
Group seeks to ban certain birth control pills (CNN)
This is news? Isn’t someone always seeking to ban birth [...]

So to speak. You have to wonder how much the person who writes headlines for CNN.com gets paid when you see this on the first page: “BBQ stand burns as calls to 911 pooh-poohed.”
Yes. Pooh-poohed. That caused some head scratching on this end, I don’t know about you.